How many special needs moms have heard other people say, “I don’t know how you do it.” or “Every time I feel like I have it rough I think of you and it inspires me to keep going.”
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It’s meant in the kindest way but sometimes that hurts to hear.
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At the end of the day though, the lives we were blessed with are met with so many challenges that our neighbours and friends just don’t have. This doesn’t mean that we are worse off or have it badly. We are just different.
I think the thing that I miss the most is the freedom. The freedom to just get up and go for a family dinner out, or to be able to play tennis with both of my boys and not to have to find child care for one if I want to do something.
I want to be able to squeeze up to the front at the Santa Claus parade or be able to take the subway from any station in the city.
I want for Rhys to stop vomiting in his lap every 10 minutes or on some days long enough to be able to get a clean shirt on before he vomits on his pants.
Aside from the rest of the challenges, those are what I miss the most.
Have you seen this kid smile? Have you heard him laugh or see him wiggle his butt like crazy in anticipation of Russell doing something funny again?
Those are the gifts we get in lieu of being able to easily get in and out of the car amongst the snowbanks.
So choose your hard- it’s more about perspective than anything else.
Yes caring for Rhys is tiring and back-breaking but I always wanted him I just didn’t know what he looked like. When I so desperately went through In Vitro fertilization dreaming of our life together I never thought we would be taking photos of us with matching shoes and glasses.
🤓And that’s our gift